Response to Christina Kettering's "Password Protected"

Christina -

This short story is about a girl, Julia, who is surfing around Facebook and remembering her brother, Thomas, as well as contemplating the burden of social media.

I think it is really interesting that you used Facebook and a brother with leukemia together to create this story.  I feel like there may have been a lot of themes going on combined with seriousness and hilarity.  It got to be kinda full for a six page story.  I would suggest either making it funny or making it serious and deciding on whether you want Julia's relationship with her brother to be the main focus or Facebook.

I did really like the comedy you included when it came to Facebook posts and things.  It got a bit morbid with the suicide event.  And I think it gets heavy when it is juxtaposed with Thomas and his illness.  So again, I may choose to include one or the other...but I don't know.  It didn't bother me to the point where I was too uncomfortable.

I would also like to see a bit more scenes in your story.  I'd like to see more interaction with the brother.  She obviously really loved him and I want to love him and understand her heartbreak when he died and why she felt the need to give him a life on Facebook.

I think you really have a lot to work with and I really think that the comedy you included is golden!  You had me laughing.  I enjoyed reading!