Response to Patrick Padilla's "Baking Cookies"

Patrick -

This story was from the point of view of a little boy, Matt.  It was a story about his mother sexually abusing him though he didn't realize that it was abuse.  He thought it was just playing.

This story is tough.  It is hard to imagine what actually goes through a child's thoughts when they are treated this way and it is also hard to imagine the kind of thoughts that go through this kind of mother's head.  I think you did a really good job of confronting this issue in a way that is upsetting because the poor kid is so taken advantage of but also in a readable way.

The one thing I would like for you to establish early on is the actual age of Matt.  I couldn't figure out his age because he knows what powdered sugar is, he is reading a recipe to his mother and yet his mother has to bend down to his level in order to hug him.  She also uses big words like "vile" and "usurp" in front of him and he seems to understand.  But a kid that is convinced the way his mother is treating him is called playing, would, in my opinion, be around four or five years old.

Also, I wish that I was a bit more effected by the end.  I feel like the end should have had higher stakes and maybe Matt shouldn't have complied with Mrs. Lady so easily.  If he loved his mother so much, why wasn't he yelling and screaming when he was taken away from her, and if it is because he always had a feeling the playing was actually bad, then give him a moment of enlightenment.  I think what I am getting at is that I never sensed much of a change in Matt's character.  He never had internal conflict or a moment's doubt that his mother was not like a normal mom.

I like how you incorporated the cooking scene.  I also think you did a good job creating a younger voice for Matt.  I think if you established his actual age, the dialogue would be much clearer and you can really settle into a voice rather than having the moments where he seems older or younger than he should.

There were a few grammatical and misspelling errors in there to go back and look for.